Some Simple Scary Math

After a mildly successful attempt to introduce "the screen" to a group of 13 year-olds, I stuck around the gym and took a few stabs at the rim.

I was pleased with myself when I managed to smack the side of the hoop. I jumped a few more times to prove that it wasn't a fluke and found that I was consistently there. Not bad, I thought. Pretty close.

Then I thought about it again and changed my mind. In order to hold the ball above the rim and send it downward, won't I need to have my whole hand above the rim? I know I sound like Jason Biggs in American Pie, wondering what third base feels like, but these are things I want to know. Seriously, how high do you actually need to be?

Let's say my earthbound logic is correct. That would mean my vertical needs to increase by the entire length of my hand, or approximately 8 inches! If my current vertical leap is approximately 20 inches (no guarantee, though I'll know for sure tomorrow night when I take my first measure) then I would need to improve my leaping ability by 40%?

Exclamation mark, number sign, asterisk.

I'm going to have nightmares tonight: little hands holding basketballs, chasing after me like the relentless brooms in The Sorcerer's Apprentice.