That Michael Jordan is so Phony

Dunking off a trampoline yesterday afternoon, again and again until my legs were sore, was a terrific experience.



Of course, it's fun just to play and be silly - but after a while, I forgot the tramp was even there. Throwing down on the rim began to feel authentic. Hell, even the pictures look convincing.

It reminded me of rainy days at Canada's Wonderland; with nobody else in line, I could hop off the roller coaster, run around to the entrance and catch the next ride. The experience wasn't entirely similar though. Those few seconds that I spent in the air disappeared pretty quickly, while the non-stop rides at Wonderland felt endless.

Is it ridiculous then, to strive for something so momentary. It does seem like more of a mirage, but perhaps it's a necessary one: it can be hot and tiresome in the desert, and you don't want to stop for too long under the sun. If I need something for motivation, however fleeting, then it's worthwhile.

But I digress. After all, a picture does say a thousand words:

Of Cowboy Boot Concept Lamps...

...and other faux-trendy items on display at my hipster hotel in Frankfurt.

Not much else to say on that topic actually. Poorly chosen title.

As for my "spring cleaning" plan...well here I am on the party scene.

On the other hand, there's more than one way to shake off the winter dust - staying up until the sunrise, wandering an unfamiliar city, talking to strangers.

Bound to inspire the mind and the soul...

Bad Boy

What's better than going to sleep after playing good basketball?

Nooooooboody!

I know that doesn't make sense, but the hell. It's copyright infringement anyway.

I dunno...dunking seems real far away right now. But the jumper's coming along.

That's cool too, right?

Status Whoa

March is almost over but it's not too late to refine my focus for this month. So far, my agenda has looked like this:

• Month one - establish goal
• Month two - beware false prophets and pursue goal

With winter almost gone, I think my current focus should be seasonal:

• Month three - make room for lift-off with thorough spring cleaning

Flight School

If boot camp is all the rage now, I wonder if a dunking-focused training program would also draw a crowd. I'm sure there are hordes of like-minded wanna-be's out there who would benefit from the shared energy and inspiration of a community.

Just imagine how much fun you could have with the marketing.
...

Fade from black.

A man is lunging down a busy city street.

People stop to stare. He spots a pretty girl and approaches her.

She doesn't know what to make of him, especially when he begins to perform squat thrusts right in front of her.

Confused and a little scared, she begins to walk away.

Sound of a powerful spring - "Boing"

The man reappears out of nowhere. He's jumped right over her from a standstill; now they're eye to eye for a second time.

He smiles. This time, she smiles right back.

Over: Flight school. Learn to fly - chicks dig it.

...
Badass, right?

40-39

There's so much to say about the last two days, I don't know where to start.

I could cut to the chase and describe the final moments before and after victory. But I've already replayed those seconds in my mind. And I know the memory will survive, vivid and intense, for a long time.

I could salvage those little, isolated moments instead, sharp and profound revelations at the time.

I try, but I can't find the words to revive them. The body rejects the transplant.

So now I'm staring at the screen, waiting for some other set of words to flow naturally from my brain into my fingertips, letters that will repair and protect these experiences and emotions.

But then it hit me. I was wrong about something. It's not that I don't know where to start - I just didn't realize that it was time to finish.

Congratulations to all the competitors, coaches and parents. Sport was played, fun was had. Balls were thrown through hoops.

It's raining outside my apartment and time to get ready for dinner. Work tomorrow.

Frankfurt on Friday; Croatia next Wednesday; Barcelona after that.

Spring!

The Music's for the Sad Man

Munich's a beautiful city and basketball's an incredible game. Don't even really know why, just is.

Got to watch a group of kids take a big step forward today, discover their own ability to improve at something as a direct result of practice and commitment. Pretty cool.

I would hire a dunking coach if I could, go to dunking practice. That would be fun.

Grateful too that I got to play organized sports as a kid. Soccer, baseball, hockey.

Thank you coaches. Thank you municipal recreation programs.

March 18

Munchen.

Also did some drinken’ and schmoozen’.

Thank you, thank you.

Seriously though folks, it’s great to be here. Gonna put my own thing on hold for a couple of days, channel all those pie-in-the-sky vibes towards the team I’ve been coaching.

Felt like a whole lot of Monday/Wednesday evenings, a lot of weekends too.

I already know it was worth it. Still, it would be great to have the proof.

The Zone

Played a real game tonight against a real team. Refs. Fouls. 4 quarters and free throws and everything except for a shot clock.

We lost and it wasn't because I couldn't dunk. A more reliable jump shot would've helped though.

On the flip side, organized sports do a great job of demonstrating the significance of confidence as it relates to success, however that may be defined. More often than not, if you truly believe that you can achieve the desired result, the intended outcome is more likely to unfold than if you merely desire it.

To that end, what could inspire more confidence than possessing the ability to rise above the competition and manually deposit the ball?

Exactly.

Octo Punti

That's quasi Italian for 8 points, as in the 8 points that Reggie Miller sunk on the Knicks in 95.

Yet another tremendous athletic accomplishment that didn't require dunking ability.

Still, would've been a lot cooler if he had.

The Good Kind of Problems

When you're stuck between going to bed before 11 or staying up a little longer to eat leftover chocolate croissants.

Does this have anything to do with my goal?

Yes, in that once again, the day defeats the dream - the day that just was, and the day that tomorrow will be.

At least the chocolate croissant will still be there in the morning. And so will the dream.

Ironic Detachment is a Hard Habit to Break...

But sometimes I muster up the courage to tell her all the scary stuff.

The Harley Crop Dusters

Going to see the Harlem Globetrotters in Stuttgart tonight. Hope it's the real show and not some watered down European version.

Also hope I'm not saddened by the sight of these talented ball-players reduced to clowning.

Bet they all can dunk though.

Maybe they can teach me some tricks?

Dusty

Maybe I should be wary of the hype. After all, The Hurt Locker happened.

So next year's basketball-related goal will be more humble.

Free Throws!

64 Slices of American Cheese

Q: What's the only distance greater than the space standing between me and my dunk?

A: The 14 feet between my bed and my computer when I'm falling asleep and I realize that I haven't fulfilled my daily obligation to satisfy a stupid sense of over-indulgent, self-imposed pressure to succeed in some vague and undefinable way, leftover from my hazy, underachieving high school days when I supposedly failed to meet the academic potential that was inferred upon me in Grade 3 when I passed a dubious intelligence test by parroting the expression I had recently heard my parents say - "that's a matter of opinion."

Good luck and good night.

I Jest, But...

The funny thing is that I actually find it very difficult to multi-task on a large scale: it's comforting to "take it one game at a time", especially when the "game" in question is actually a very meaningful aspect of life, like searching for a home to purchase.

This type of activity requires long-term planning and committed follow-through. If you put it on the back burner to focus on the responsibilities of daily work, the process grinds to a halt or is poorly done. I tend to shy away from this process.

On the other hand, I find it relatively easy to juggle many trivial short-term demands, or in a different vein, to manage friendships and other relationships.

I also find it relatively easy to wear sweat pants for an extended period of time. Doesn't make it a virtue.

However, I'm pretty sure that if I obsess about dunking a basketball for the next 9 months I will become a more responsible person, more committed to the process of long-term planning.

Of Course It's Boring, That's the Point

Crash Davis was a wise, fictional man. He understood, amongst other things, the importance of "taking it one day at a time."

Now, I'm sure Crash would have also had a deep and abiding appreciation for the hollowness of this treasured sports cliche. When you're on a losing streak, when you feel like you're off kilter, there's nothing you want more than to turn it all around in one fell swoop.

So here's my plan: to right this ship and regain my mojo, I will write every day for the next 17 days.

By then it will be time to embark on yet another vacation. This time, I intend to avoid the malaise that has undermined my travel adventures in the past.

And the good Lord willing, things will work out.

Going Through the Potions

Thanks to some antibiotics and the incredible efficiency of my good friend Herr Doctor, I hope to be feeling better soon. Still, I'm feeling the hit from just a week of illness. I won't be able to exercise until Monday and that's where the next challenge will be waiting. Long term goals this one are all about habits and consistency. But the temptation is to try harder and regain two weeks of lost momentum all at once. Important to leave the past behind.