"Hey You Guys!"

Let’s be clear about what I’m proposing to do here: when I say, “dunk the ball”, I mean the “take fourteen steps from half court with nobody in my way” kind of dunk, the one guys try in practice and before games.

Because anybody who’s played the game knows how hard it can be some nights just to keep your shoelaces tied up for longer than five minutes at a time. When someone can play in the third dimension (the vertical one), they incorporate an ability that is entirely beyond even the imagination of most guys. And that’s what tends to frustrate people when they come to define some aspect of their identity by their participation in a particular community, whether it be athletic, artistic, academic, whatever: there is always going to be someone who is better than you at the thing you love to do; worse, some people even make their excellence look easy to come by.

It’s an aspect of life that is difficult for most people to embrace. But don’t you think it should be frustrating to know that the object of your desire is unattainable? Like poor Sloth from The Goonies, chained to his chair in the basement of the Fratelli’s hideout, don’t we owe it to ourselves to shout and rail and pull at our shackles when that delicious looking chocolate bar is beyond our reach?

It’s a difficult question to answer because it strikes at the heart of humanity’s Achilles’ Heel: our relentless infatuation with the things we want. Histories, literatures, religions all contain countless examples of people, even entire civilizations, derailed by their desire. Often those goals were defined by hubris, greed, madness or even just a simple lack of self-awareness. And yet, those same oracles often speak of another tale, the kind of great achievement, fulfillment and success.

I know that there are people whose cultural perspectives encourage them to be wary of desire. And, truly, there is great wisdom in that approach. But if you live in a capitalistic/consumer society like I do, and you have a vision of happiness that includes a home, a family, a satisfying career, and something fun to do on a Saturday night – like I do – then you better learn how to bust through a few chains. (It’s also good to have a chubby friend named Chunk.)

So with that perspective in mind, along with a bothersome groin pull from hoops tonight, the driving force behind the year of the dunk becomes clearer. Within this context, it represents a big fat bear hug to my self-esteem: proof that with true and consistent effort, I can pursue and achieve my goals. Once I’ve established this precedent, who knows what I’ll be able to achieve? Proper oral hygiene; sound fiscal planning; sustaining the life of house plants; really, the sky is the limit.